Interviewer: where do ya see yourself in 5yrs Me: going through a Denny's trash bin I: but you might get this job M: haha that's... irrelevant

welcome to denny's. don't eat that brown stuff. that's tables

If your girlfriend offers to make you breakfast at 2 AM. She's probably not your girlfriend and your just drunk at Denny's again.

[2 friends fighting at Denny's] Chicken: *gritting teeth* I'll have the bacon Pig: *staring down the chicken* And I'll be having the EGGS!