A man tells his shrink he's no longer attracted to his Fiance ""I can't explain it but for some reason I'm only attracted to fruit"" ""Fruit, as in the sweet, fleshy product of a tree or plant?"" ""Yes, fruit, I don't get it,"" he says with more than a hint of desperation creeping into his voice ""I've seen this before,"" the psychiatrist calmly explains. ""You have?"" ""Yes, you have Twin Syndrome."" ""Twin Syndrome?"" ""You only come in pears!"" ""Very funny doc, this is serious, I'm trying to…

THERAPIST: what's the problem? WIFE: he replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise

[HOSPITAL] DOCTOR: "A-tisket a-tasket, you're gonna need a casket." WIFE: "What?" DR: "Your husband's knee surgery did not go well AT ALL."

Therapist: what's your biggest issue with your husband? Wife: he gives me no privacy Me: [tapping on window from outside] that's not true