A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags and asks her where she's going. ""To Las Vegas. I found out there are men who will pay me $400 to do what I do to you for free."" The man started packing his bags. ""Where are you going?"" she asked. ""I'm going to Las Vegas with you. I want to see how you'll live on $800 a year.""

Shirly-Mae goes to the sherif's... ""Oh sherif, mah husband Buck wen out fishin' on the bayou jus las evenin, and he ain't come home! i is worried sick!"" ""well alright. me n the boys will go lookin. don't you worry miss, we'll find him, sure enough"" ""thank yew, sherif. would yew please call me when you do?"" ""yes ma'am."" so sherif and the boys go a-lookin, and sure enough, find Buck. sherif calls Shirly-Mae ""Now ma'am, we found your husband. I got some good news, and some bad news. Bad ne…

Heading to Vegas A man comes home to find his blonde wife of 15 years packing her suitcase. ""Where do you think you're going?"" exclaims the surprised husband. ""I am booked on the next flight out to Las Vegas! I found out that there are thousands of good looking men who will gladly pay me $500 for what I give you for free!"" The man was taken aback but stood there considering his response for a moment, and then without a word got out his clothes to pack in his suitcase, whistling a happy tune.…

What do you call a guy who tells jokes that only he thinks is funny? /u/daddyboyfriend! Confirmation (this bit right here is [an x-post from /r/self](https://www.reddit.com/r/self/comments/34kksj/could_i_get_some_feedback_on_my_jokes/) - and these were deemed as *jokes* from the mods of /r/antijokes when I tried x-posting there) How should a California white woman stop her kids from jumping on the bed? Put velcro on the ceiling. What do you call a course in an L.A. public school district which t…