My wife tried to apply at the post office but they wouldn't letter. They said only mails work here.

My boss asked me why I'm late, apparently answering "because your wife wouldn't let me get out of bed" just gets you sent to HR.

I lost my voice. If whoever finds it could resume screaming at my ex-husband, that would be much appreciated.

FRIEND: you gotta go home and show your wife who's boss ME: damn right [later] ME: jen listen up *pulls out photo* this is my manager tim