Mechanic: what seems to be the problem? Me: nice try buddy, that's what I'm paying you for

Snooki, but without the orange tan and poofy hair. And she's in charge of North Korea.

A good way to break up with a girl is to leave her a trail of rose petals starting from her front door to North Korea.

*Sees dead cat on the road. Walk it off buddy, you got 8 more.