America only considers a war a success if we build a Bed Bath and Beyond in the enemy's capital.

Captain America: WHERE ARE YOU WE NEED YOU Black WINDOW: FOR THE LAST TIME YOU GOT THE WRONG NUMBER

(Standing next to pool with a golf club and horse) Friends: Are you sure you've played water polo before?

Ok America now is our chance to catch up on productivity, health care, math & science while the rest of the world is drunk & watching soccer