Wife from hell. A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "" I clocked you at 80 kilometers per hour, sir. This is a 60KPH zone!"" The driver says, ""Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."" Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: ""Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."" As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, ""Can't you please keep yo…

A fellow bought a new Corvette... ... and was out on an interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. ""There ain't no way they can catch a Corvette,"" he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100, 130 and finally 150 with the light still behind him. ""What the hell am I doing?"" he …

A clever excuse A man bought a new Corvette and was out on an interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. ""There's no way they can catch a Corvette,"" he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100, 130 and finally 150 with the light still behind him. ""What the hell am I doing?"" h…

So this happened Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat-down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized that I must have left them in the car. Frantically. I headed for the parking lot. My wife, Diane, has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Her theory is that the car …