Jim's car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over... Jim's car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, ""Step out of the car"" says the cop, ""I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test."" ""I can't"", Jim responds ""You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack."" ""Alright,"" says the cop, ""then you're going to have to take a blood test."" ""Can't do that either,"" Jim responds, ""I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding…

There was a man in Ukraine who operated a train for a living. He showed up to work one day extremely drunk and starting hitting people on the tracks, killing a few before he was caught and arrested. State law deemed that death via the electric chair was an acceptable punishment for his deeds. The day he was put to death, they asked him for any last meals. His only request a single banana. They obliged, gave him his banana, and put him on the chair. The chair was activated, and to the executioner…

A police officer pulls a man over who was driving erratically. The officer walks up to the man's window and asks him. ""Sir, you are all over the road! I need you to blow into this breathalyzer to determine if you have been drinking."" The driver of the car shakes his head vehemently and says to the officer. ""Oh, I can't do that, officer! I'm an asthmatic! If I blow too forcefully into that tube, I could have an asthma attack and die!"" The officer nods his head, understanding. ""Very well then…

A cop pulls a man over for speeding... ""What seems to be the problem officer?"" ""You were speeding, license and registration please."" ""I'm sorry, I cant do that."" ""And why is that?"" ""My drivers license was taken from me while driving drunk."" ""Well, give me your cars registration then."" ""I cant do that either, I stole this car."" ""The car is stolen?"" ""Yeah, I stole it and I killed the owner too, she's in the trunk if you want to take a peek."" Hearing this the officer backs away fr…