A little boy wakes up on his 9th birthday... ..and runs into the kitchen where his dad is making breakfast. The boy asks his dad to guess how old he is, and his dad plays along. ""Umm, 30 years old?"" ""No,"" laughs the boy, ""I'm 9!"" ""Awesome!"" His dad says, ""You're a young man now! Go in the living room and see if your uncle can guess how old you are while I finish breakfast."" So the boy goes in the living room where his uncle is sitting in a recliner drinking a beer. ""Uncle, uncle!"" gi…

Dead-Baby Jokes What is funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume. What is the difference between a baby and a onion? No one cries when you chop up the baby. What is the difference between a dead baby and a water melon? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other one's a water melon. What is the difference between a baby and a dart-board? Dart-boards don't bleed. What is the difference between a baby and a mars bar? About 500 calories. Why did the family take the dead baby al…

I was talking to a farmer in a pub.... I was in a pub out the back of nowhere, with a mate, and we struck up a great conversion with an old farmer at the bar. I asked him to tell us a bit about himself, and he told is this great story. ""See, I loved tractors, right, ever since I was a little kid, my dad would take me out to lots of tractor shows around the state, and to my favourite, tractor towing contests"". I had no idea that this was a thing, and so I asked him about it. ""It's tug of war, …

dbj's What is funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume. What is the difference between a baby and a onion? No one cries when you chop up the baby. What is the difference between a dead baby and a water melon? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other one's a water melon. What is the difference between a baby and a dart-board? Dart-boards don't bleed. What is the difference between a baby and a mars bar? About 500 calories. Why did the family take the dead baby along on the…