For just $28,000, I will teach any politician or politician's wife to wave like a normal human being.

I wish my wife was one of those government agents who aren't allowed to talk about what they did at work all day.

Wife: did you know there's an "I hate Jeff" group that meets in the park? Me: yes I started it I am the president

People who argue Hillary is crooked; boy have I got news for you on the rest of the government