An old joke from Soviet Russia during Stalins great purge Ivan and Masja had just gone to sleep when someone banged loudly and on the door and screamed their names. Knowing how KGB made their arrests in the middle of the night Ivan told his wife to hide while he got the door. She anxiously hid under the bed when Ivan came back. ""Relax Masja"" he said, ""there is no need to be worried"" ""It was just Osip telling us our house is on fire""