News: Hillary won the debate! My friends: Bernie won the debate! Trump: I won the debate! Huckabee: Asian people eat dogs!

Hillary Clinton and Bernie sanders are having dinner together! Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders were having dinner when Hillary said to Bernie ""Let me get you a knife"" Bernie said ""I'll just use this one you put in my back""

I emailed Hillary that to secure a win, she had to pick Bernie as VP. I guess she deleted it.

Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and a young girl all board a small plane... Midway through the flight, the pilot has a stroke and the plane starts to go down. There are only three parachutes on board and the four passengers quickly discuss who of them will take them. Immediately the Donald says, ""I'm the first human orange to be nominated for president, I should be given the chance to live!"" He quickly grabs the first chute, slings it on his back, and hops out of the plane. Befo…