What should a teacher take if he's run down? The number of the car that hit him.

When I was in 3rd grade my teacher smoking in the classroom told us not to tell well I'm telling you now

"Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it I better call the police!" - literally no one ever

*wakes up to wife and son screaming* me: What are you guys yelling about? them: YOU'RE DRIVING