Robber: Give me all your money.Otherwise you are chemistry! ME: Don't you mean history? R: Don't change the subject! *Both start laughing

Dean, to the physics department: ""Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. Why couldn't you be like the math department - all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. All they need are pencils and paper.""

Found in my Physics text book. A man lives in a foreign country, and his job is to operate the train that connects one town to another. He is not very good at his job, and he is also very greedy. Since his income does not meet his expenses, he decides to steal from his passengers' fares. At first he steals only a little. However, as he gets more and more greedy, he steals more and more. Eventually, he is caught. The company is furious. Once he has been tried and found guilty, the company asks fo…

Jewish scientist wanted to become rich and famous... After years of research he finally created his great invention - a potion that would make cats talk. He started travelling all around the country, showing off his invention, but to his astonishment people were not interested. He thought about it for a while and decided, that perhaps cats were not popular enough, or cat owners did not want to know what their pets are saying. So he worked for several more years and modified the potion so that it…