Two East German guards were standing near the Berlin wall. ""What do you think of our regime?"" asked the first. ""The same as you!"" the second replied. ""In that case,"" said the first guard, ""it is my duty to arrest you!""

A couple is taking a walk in Berlin Suddenly, it starts raining. The two start arguing over whether it's raining or hailing. ""Let's ask that Communist officer over there! He might know if it's raining!"", the wife suggests. They go up to him and notice that his nametag says that his name is Olf. ""It's raining, dummies, now go away!"", he says. The wife, who said it was raining, smirks and tells her husband: ""Rude Olf the Red knows rain, dear!""

It was 1940... ...in war time Berlin. An SS Officer had a side line going as an amateur clock maker and repairer. One day a customer walked into his clock repair shop with a mantel clock. The SS Officer said ""Vhat can I do for you?"" The customer replied. ""It's my mantel clock. It's not working properly... if you put your ear to it, you will know what I mean. All it does is Tic-Tic-Tic-Tic-Tic all of the time Tic-Tic-Tic. It doesn't Toc"". ""Okay, leave it viz me, I'll sort it out. Come back o…

A German is at the border to go to Poland. The officer asks him: Name? Hans Gruber. Address? 123 SpiegelStrasse, Berlin Occupation? Nein, just visiting.