trump: ban muslims jeb bush: i disagree. just like dad would. who used to be president ben carson: how did spongebob make fire underwater

QUIT TELLING ME WHAT TO DO! YOU'RE NOT MY FOUNDING FATHER! - strict constitutional constructionist teen to the President

My child: Mom, there's a monster under my bed. Me: "That's impossible, they're all running for president right now."

One day bush went jogging... One day Bush was out jogging and accidentally fell from a bridge into a very cold river. Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident. Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the wet president out of the river. After cleaning up he said, ""Boys, you saved the President of the United States today. You deserve a reward. You name it, I'll give it to you."" The first boy said, ""Please, I'd like a ticket to Disneyland!"" ""I'll personally …