Theres a dating website for people that believe the government is ran by lizard people so I really have no excuse for being single

NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO! Except my government, boss, his wife, my girlfriend, my parents, my doctor, friends, neighbours, their dogs...

Before leaving for the convention center on Election night, Hilary told Bill: ""Tonight, for the first time in history, America will finally have two presidents sleeping with each other""... When she got home, Bill was already eagerly waiting in bed, and he said: ""Is Trump on his way or should I drive to his place?""

Not sure if this is the right place to post, but after the US election results from last night, I need help creating a new dating website. It will help desperate American men and women find love in Canada. It'll be called ehHarmony