My friend Jane (Best done in first person) So, I have this friend Jane. Now, Jane is a nice gal. She's a mortician in town and a virgin. I've been setting her up for the past 3 years but she won't seem to close the deal with any of them, even with the more *amazing* men I've set her up with. Now, last week Jane calls me up and says ""hey, can you come to the doctor with me? I need to get some results for some testing I had done"" I, being the friend that I am, oblige without question. When the doctor came in it was relayed to Jane that she has syphilis and prescribes her some medication. Now, Jane is distraught and she tells me she needs to get some stuff from her work. While at the mortuary I fart around a bit and look over some paperwork on her desk when I come across a paper with info on a male body they have there. One of the notations I see the word ""syphilis"". So Jane comes in the room and I look at her with a serious face and ask "" Jane? What was the guy that you slept with like?"" To which she responds ""to be honest, he was pretty stiff"".