Boss: Lunch meeting, let's go. Me: Do I have to? Boss: Free food and unlimited alcohol. Me: *moonwalks to the car*

I bet when David Hasselhoff gets too drunk he roams the streets screaming "KITT!" When he can't find his car.

[quietly tries to open a can of beer] driving instructor: what was that

"I'd hit that if I was drunk." - Me, driving by a mailbox just now.