Two Jews, Saul and Moshe, hear that their friend has died. The funeral is the next day at 3. Saul, ever stylish, immediately realizes that ""we need black suits!"" and the two run to the tailor, Pinkus. Moshe is beyond himself, whining about how ""there's nothing to be done unless you help us Pinkus, we need black suits by tomorrow afternoon, but there's no time-"" ""Don't worry,"" interrupts Pinkus, ""I'll measure you both and the suits will be ready by tomorrow at 8am. And cheap."" And wouldn'…

Saul Epstein was taking an oral exam in his English as a Second Language class... Saul was asked to spell ""cultivate,"" and he spelled it correctly. He was then asked to use the word in a sentence, and, with a big smile, responded: ""Last vinter on a very cold day, I vas vaiting for a bus, but it vas too cultivate, so I took the subvay home.""

Saul and Abe are walking down the street... And Saul grabs Abe by the arm and cries, ""Abe! I've got a riddle for you!"" ""Ok, Saul. Go ahead."" ""What's green, hangs on a wall, and whistles?"" ""I...You got me, Saul. What?"" ""A *herring*."" ""But...herrings aren't green."" ""Well, you can paint it green."" ""And they don't hang on walls."" ""Sure! You put a little nail in it, you can hang it on a wall."" ""and...and it doesn't whistle."" ""Ok, so it doesn't whistle.""

A man goes into a restaurant. **Saul:** A man goes into a restaurant. You listenin'? A man goes into a restaurant. He sits down, he's havin' a bowl of soup. He says to the waiter; ""Waiter, come taste the soup."" Waiter says; ""Is there something wrong with the soup?"" He says; ""Taste the soup."" He says; ""Is there something wrong with the soup? Is the soup too hot?"" He says; ""Will you taste the soup?"", ""What's wrong is the soup to cold?"" ""Will you just taste the soup?"" ""All right, I'l…