Dear car commercials, You probably don't mean to scare me but "German engineering" is also why I don't have so many cousins today.

So there are a group of engineers and a group of mathematicians heading to a conference They are sitting on a train together when both groups spot the train's ticket collector coming down the aisle. Quickly two of the engineers scuttle into the washroom, leaving the mathematicians confused. After the collector stamps all the mathematicians tickets he approaches the washroom and knocks. ""Ticket please"" A ticket slides under the door, and is stamped by the collector and returned. ""Thank you!"" …

A blonde is pulling into a car park in her Volkswagen Beetle... ...when she sees another blonde with the hood/bonnet * of her Volkswagen Beetle up. Thinking that she may be able to help she pulls over and asks the other blonde what the problem is. ""Well, I was just about to drive off but my engine won't start. I had a look and saw that my engine was gone..."", replied the second blonde. ""Well, not to worry,"" replied the first, ""I have a spare one in my trunk/boot *"". *Please select appropri…

The Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Enginner A Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Engineer were driving down a mountain when suddenly the car slides off the road and rolls down the Mountain. Amazingly none of the occupants had been hurt. The Mechanical Engineer steps out and says hand me my Swiss army knife I will have this repaired in no time and we can be on our way. The Project Manager says Wait Up, We need to set achievable goals, set a timeline and e…