I wish I drove a Volkswagen bug. It would be cool to know that every time I drove by a school bus, some kid was getting punched.

Wife: "I'm tired of you endlessly misquoting Arnold Schwarzenegger films. I'm leaving you." Me: "You'll be back."

*sees Arnold Schwarzenegger working at Walmart* "hey Arnold, kitchen appliances are toward the back of aisle B right?" "YES. AISLE B, BACK"

I'm thinking about buying a Volkswagen Beetle just so I can be the reason why people keep getting punched.