my cousin jeff died today. sent flowers to the family with a little card saying "jeff is dead" so they know what the flowers are for

Beware of bacon... (read in a Mexican accent) Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden... ""Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I is sure of eet."" ""Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee."" So with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture…

Sleeping with the Rabbi's Wife Jeff asks his best friend for a favor, ""Jim, I want to sleep with the Rabbi's wife so I need you to take him out tomorrow afternoon so I don't get caught."" Jim agrees to help his friend so he calls up the Rabbi and plan to meet for lunch the next day. So Jim and the Rabbi are eating lunch while Jim is waiting for a text from Jeff saying the coast is clear. The Rabbi picks up on the fact that Jim is just killing time and asks him why. Jim says, ""I am so sorry Rab…

Three tired travelers stumble across a farm as it is beginning to get dark... Three tired travelers stumble across a farm as it is beginning to get dark. Exhausted, they decide to stop and ask if there is a place to sleep until morning. A friendly farmer answers the door and says they can sleep in the barn under one circumstance: Nobody is allowed to go up in the loft. The travelers say that is a simple enough request and head to the barn for some much needed sleep. After an hour of restlessness…