a kid at school the teacher told the students... ""i will let you out of class early if you get the next questions right""...... first question.. what is the capital of texas..... michael raised his hand and said AUSTIN she let him go.... a few seconds later johnny threw a peice of paper at the teacher and hit her in the face... she got mad and asked WHO THREW THAT johnny said I DID and took off cuz he got the answer right..... feak...

Boating accident Paddy and Mary divorced a year ago. Paddy was boating with his son Michael when a storm came up and they both drowned. Officer Murphy had to tell Mary the news. ""Well, Mary I have good news and bad news."" ""Give me the bad news first."" ""Your ex has drowned in a boating accident."" ""He was a miserable son of a bitch, but at least he made the child support payments on time."" ""Well the good news is you won't be needing the child support anymore."" Disclaimer: this is a repos…

Hillary Clinton goes jogging [long] Hillary Clinton was out jogging one morning along the parkway when she tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the river below. Before anyone else could get to her, 3 kids who were fishing pulled her out of the water. She was so grateful she offered the kids whatever they wanted. The first kid says, ""I want to go to Disneyland."" Hilary says, ""No problem, I'll take you there on my campaign airplane"". The second kid says, ""I want a new pair of N…

Q: What's brown and in a baby's diaper? A: Michael Jackson's hand !!