As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway his car phone rang. Answering he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him ""Herman I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate. Please be careful!"" ""Hell"" said Herman ""It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!""

"Hello, this is Steve, my wife is listening." - How I answer every phone call since my wife bought Bluetooth for my car.

This guy's wife gets a cat... This guy's wife gets a cat and he hates it. So one day, while his wife is gone to work, the guy puts the cat in the back seat of the car, drives a few blocks, and lets the cat out. When he gets home, the cat's sitting there on the front porch. So the next day, the guy waits until his wife leaves for work again, then throws the cat in the car, drives a mile away from the house, and tosses the cat out. When he gets home, the cat's sitting there again on the front porc…

A dinner surprise! Once upon a time there lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans. He loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. Then one day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry he thought to himself, ""She is such a sweet and caring woman, she would never allow this to carry on."" So he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later his car broke down on the …