My girlfriend got D for Christmas from her Math teacher.

My high-school English teacher was well known for being a fair, but hard, grader. One day I received a B minus on a theme paper. In hopes of bettering my grade and in the spirit of the valentine season, I sent her an extravagant heart-shaped box of chocolates with the pre-printed inscription: ""BE MINE."" The following day, I received in return a valentine from the teacher. It read: ""Thank you, but it's still BE MINE-US.""

Little kid recites ""Twas The Night Before Christmas"" For the grade school Christmas Pageant the teacher had one of the students memorize 'Twas the Night Before Christmas'. Unfortunately, the child fell sick the evening of the Pageant. But another kid stepped forward at the last moment and said he could do the recital. His performance proved to be a show stopper as he recited: ""More rapid than eagles his curses they came, And he whistled and shouted and called them bad names!""

What did the fat math teacher say after a large Thanksgiving dinner? (-1)/8! Edit: I clearly don't know how to math.