Mechanic: what seems to be the problem? Me: nice try buddy, that's what I'm paying you for

*Sees dead cat on the road. Walk it off buddy, you got 8 more.

*sees guy dressed as ghost for Halloween* Hey buddy thats not funny, my grandma is a ghost

Me: Hey, great costume, buddy! You look like a real... Him: Ma'am, please step out of the vehicle.