[driver on opposite side of the road puts head lights on] moth driving: omg moth wife: Harold no we have a baby moth baby: FLOOR IT DAD

Golf Balls An old couple is making love in their old dusty bedroom when the woman stops and says ""Harold, I've been meaning to ask you something."" She gets off of the bed and pulls a shoebox out from under the bed. Harold gets a little nervous and she says, ""Harold we've been married for 50 years and I just don't understand this."" She opens up the box to reveal 3 golf balls and a stack of cash. Harold says, ""Martha, after 50 years of marraige to you I cannot lie. Each time I have been unfat…

Not again Harold Harold and his wife were going to bed, he was 78 and had aged well, but in his sleep he had passed away. At the pearly gates he spoke with God, and said, "please let me go back, it was not time for me, I need my wife, I miss her terribly" God considered this, and said "I'm not really allowed to do this but, I'll let you back" Harold thanked God for his kindness, but God said "But you will be brought back as one of the chickens that you own in your back garden, this is the only …

A man and his wife are out to dinner As he’s about to start eating, his wife stops him and says “Harold, we have to pray first!” Man: “Why?” Wife: “We always pray at home before we eat.” Man: “Yeah but the guy here actually knows how to cook.”