Great roll model A kid all confused asked his dad: Dad, dad..What is closer the moon or London? To what the dad responds all serious: Do you see London from here?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been so horrendously genetically modified in a lab that it had taken on almost human-like intelligence. Growing up in the lab, among hippy scientists and political idealists talking about the socialist revolution and liberation he thought one day, one day, he would have his freedom. Later that year, in an act of civil defiance within the chicken coop, he refused to eat the chicken feed alloted to him. As the scientists opened the cage to seize t…

An Irishman was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his cell phone. He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces his wife has just produced a typical Irish baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the man just shrugs, ""That's about average up our way, folks... like I said... my boy's a typical County Clare baby boy."" Two weeks later the man returns to the bar. The bartender says, ""Say, you're the father of tha…

John in here? A 35 year woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work in London. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bed room closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home at the same time. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The little boy says, ""John in here."" The man says, ""Yes, it is"" Boy "" I have a baseball."" Man ""That's nice"" Boy ""Want to buy it?"" Man ""No, thanks…