Three women get together for coffee and the topic of conversation turns to contraception. The first woman says: ""We've used the rhythm method for years. The Holy Father approves of it and its surprisingly effective - it's only ever failed us twice."" The second woman says: ""Holy Father, Shmoly Father. We don't go for all that pious claptrap. We've always used the pill. It's easy, it doesn't rob us of our pleasure and it's only ever failed us once."" The third woman says: ""We've always used th…

Three women were talking about their husbands' performances as a lover... Three women were talking about their husbands' performances as a lover. The first woman said, ""My husband is a marriage counselor. He always buys me flowers and candies before we make love. I like that."" The second woman said, ""My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and slaps me around sometimes. I kind of like that."" The third woman just shook her head and said, ""My husband is a policeman. He jus…

A woman walks into an embalming and burial service office The depressed-looking woman goes up the embalmer and says, ""My husband died a few days ago in a car crash. When he died, he was in a black suit. It would be very nice if you could change his suit into one that is blue after embalming him. Blue was his favorite color, so I hope you understand."" The embalmer replies, ""I'm sorry for your loss. I will change his suit for you."" And so the sobbing woman walks out. Just 2 hours later, anothe…

Microsoft-Lover Three women were sitting around talking about their husbands' performance as lovers. The first woman says, ""My Husband works as a marriage counselor. He always buys me flowers and candy before we make love. I like that."" The second woman says, ""My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and slaps me around sometimes. I kinda like that."" The third woman just shakes her head and says, ""My husband works for Microsoft. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tel…