BOSS: Okay, let's do this. What names are you pitching? COWORKER: Hannah Montana ME: Assapoopshits Massachusetts BOSS: Michael you're fired

Hi I'm michael cera and this is jackass [blows on his yogurt to make sure it's not to hot]

"Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I'd been invited to an autopsy.

*walks up to Michael Cohen's door* "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Says." "Says who?" "THE POLLS. ALL OF THEM."