A marine boarded a train on his way home from deployment. The train was quite crowded, and the marine walked the entire length of the car to find a seat. There seemed to be one next to a well-dressed middle-aged French woman, but when he got there he saw it was taken by the woman's poodle. The war-weary marine asked, ""Ma'am, may I have that seat?"" The French woman sniffed and said to nobody in particular, ""Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."" The marine walked the entir…

A Marine and an Army Soldier are in the bathroom together and they finish their business at the same time, and the Marine walks out the door without washing his hands. The soldier says ""in the Army, they teach us to wash our hands"" The Marine yells ""**in the Marine Corps, they teach us not to piss on our hands**""

A marine is on his way home from a tour of duty and finds himself seated next to two Arabs in the airport. He has a little time till his next flight, so he takes off his boots and sets them down next to him. He looks over to the two Arabs and, thinking it'd be taken as a gesture of goodwill, says, ""Would any of you like a coke?"" One of them nods yes, so the marine gets up to go to the vending machine around the corner. One of the Arabs whispers to the other, and snickers as he spits into one o…

A marine and sailor are at a urinal. The sailor finishes first and starts washing his hands; the marine finishes and starts to walk out. The sailor quips, ""Hey Jarhead, don't they teach marines to wash their hands after pissing?"" The marine continues walking out the door saying, ""Nope. They teach us to not piss on our hands.""