Two peanuts were walking down the street.. Peanut 1: ""I can't believe Jerry from accounting earlier"" Peanut 2: ""I know right. Who does he think he is, calling me nuts"" Peanut 1: ""Ah well, we can spread some rumours around the office about him tomorrow."" Peanut 2: ""That makes us seem so salty though"" Peanut 1: ""Who cares? Anyway, could you explain how to file those records again? I didn't quite cashew it"" Peanut 2: ""Well, in a nutshell, it's a simple alpha-numeric system"" Peanut 1: ""Oh, there's my ride, I gotta fill up my tank at the Shell Station. Catch ya later!"" As Peanut 2 continued walking down the dark and murky streets of the Big Apple alone, he heard a lurking man behind him. A peanut with a gun ran up from behind and screamed ""Give me all your cash-ew!"" he was then shot in the heart and fell unconscious. When he woke up, his vision was in a haze-lnut, and all he could say was that he was ""a salted"" before falling unconscious again Peanut 1 had managed to get his friend to a hospital and under the knife, but he was still tense waiting for answers. After a long and agonizing wait, the Nutty Professor finally appeared. He told Peanut 1, ""I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through... The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life."" Sorry if you found that joke a-corny