Arrived home super drunk. Put the turkey in the oven and went up and banged my wife. Woke up next to the turkey. Afraid to check the oven.

A guy sits in front of TV all day, farting like there's no tomorrow. But not just gassy airish farts, I'm talking mega greasy wet ones, the kind that would make your dog puke. The wife, understandably is very angry, and says: ""one day Honey, you are gonna fart your guts out."" The next Sunday, as wife is preparing Turkey for sunday lunch, her husband falls asleep. The wife spies an opportunity to get her own back, so she takes the innards of the turkey and places them in the underwear her husba…

Please notify if repost. (first) A woman walks into a tattoo parlor, asking the man in charge to put a picture of a turkey saying ""Happy Thanksgiving!"" on one thigh and a picture of Santa saying ""Merry Christmas!"" on the other. The man looked confused by her odd request, so he asked her why. She calmly looked at him and replied without even a stutter. ""My husband always complains that there's nothing good to eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving.""

A close call. A man sits down in his chair then rips a huge fart. His wife says ""one of these days you're going to shit your guts out"". It becomes a habit that every time he passes gas she says ""one day you will shit you're guts out"" One day on Thanksgiving morning she decides she's had enough. She takes all the guts from the Turkey and sneeks them under the covers while her husband sleeps,then goes back to the kitchen to wait. After an hour or so she hears her husband scream then silence. H…