The Tortured Life of a Tractor Enthusiast (Very Shaggy Dog Joke!) So there was this guy Dave, and Dave had always loved tractors despite being a city boy. Ever since he had been 5 years old he had wanted to own one in particular, a massive green John Deere with yellow wheels. For his tenth birthday his parents brought him a poster of this tractor and Dave worshipped it. He had this poster above his bed and would gaze at it for hours before he went to sleep. As soon as he was old enough Dave drop…

A chef complains that the kitchen is too smokey and the owner offers a free meal to anyone who can solve the problem. So a farmer walks into the restaurant and sits his young son on a bar stool. The boy is wearing a John Deere t-shirt, a Massey Fergusson jacket and a Ford cap. The farmer then turns to his son. ""Son""', he says, ""it's time for the truth. John Deere tractors are nothing but a pile of shit. Massey Fergusson tractors are even worse, they're just a steaming pile of horse shit. And …

An Arab and a Jew oil Sheikh that was in a coma and needed a blood transfusion to survive. Being O- it was hard for him to get a donor with the same rare blood type. Finally they found an old Jewish farmer that was listed as a blood donor with the same blood type. However he was very reluctant to give his blood to save an Arab guy. Finally after lots of discussions and pestering by doctors he agreed to donate only enough blood to help make sure the Arab guy was stabilized. After the blood transf…

I used to love John Deere and Massey Ferguson... but now I'm an ex-tractor fan.