Mom wants me to have a baby girl with blonde hair and blue eyes.And I want a sane mother who isn't oblivious to my Italian bloodline.

Doctor: Describe your headache. Me: She's about 5'8", blonde, and the mother of my children.

Two Priests going on vacation to Hawaii were... determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc. The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their ""tourist"" garb They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a ""drop dead gorgeous"" blonde in a topless bikini came walkin…

The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try. The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. ""It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels."" He said. ""Impressive,"" said the manager. The man is given another. ""Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in a steel vats."" The manager was am…