I owe my life to Ellen Pao. I got in a horrible car crash and I was in a coma for 6 months. One day my nurse walked in and placed a photo of Ellen Pao on the desk next to me. I awoke from my coma, got up and threw that shit away.

How is Ellen Pao so good at driving Reddit into the ground? I thought Asian women couldn't drive ಠ_ಠ

SOMEONE LEFT THEIR DOGS IN THE CAR WITH THE WINDOWS ROLLED UP -Ma'am, that's a pack of Ballpark All-Beef Franks. ITS 500 DEGREES IN THERE

"Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it I better call the police!" - literally no one ever