American tourist is lost in foreign country American tourist has lost his group in some Asian country. By accident he walks into local red lights district. He asks random guy on the street for help. ""What do you want, a woman?"" ""No, no"". ""Ohhh, sir, then you want a man?"". ""No, no"". Stranger smiles and lowers his voice: ""I get it. A child then?"" ""My god, no!"". Stranger is irritated: ""What do you want then?"". Man replies: ""US consul"". Stranger thinks for a whole minute in silence, then replies: ""Could arrange that. But it would be very, *very* expensive"".