Putin is working in his office planning the Ukraine war, when the ghost of Stalin suddenly appears. Putin takes the opportunity to seek advice: “Stalin, what happened? why are things not working out for us?” Stalin gives him the advice: “Send 5 million Russians to their deaths at war, and paint the Kremlin blue.” “Why blue?” asks Vladimir Putin. “I knew you wouldn’t have a problem with the first part,” chuckles Stalin.

Putin is holding a press conference This is Russian joke. Putin is holding a press conference to see what problems in Russia need fixing. An old man walks up to the mic and says ""Mr. President, we are so poor, we cannot afford to eat, every night my wife and I go hungry. Can you fix this?"" Putin says ""I'm sorry, I cannot fix this."" The man continues ""Mr. President, my son is in the Army. Every day I'm worried he'll be killed in Ukraine. Can you fix this?"" Putin says ""I'm sorry, I cannot f…

Putin comes to a barber for a haircut. He sits down, the barber takes his scissors and gets to work. Right before he starts, he asks "How are matters in Ukraine, Mr. President?" Then, a minute later "Is the army fighting well?" Then "How are the Navy operations?" A few more questions like that... at last, Putin snaps: **Putin**: Listen, what's with all the Ukraine questions?! Does the war really interest you so much?! **Barber**: No, not really. It's just so much easier to cut your hair while…

Why didn't Ukraine go to war with Russia yet? They were Putin up with him.