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I cut my thumb chopping onions... ...in such a way as to make applying appropriate pressure difficult. I made my way to the ER. They weren't busy, so the doctor came over to dress my wound. I expressed frustration over my lack in first aid and the persistent crimson flow. In a matter-of-fact tone, he reassured me, ""Don't worry; all of my patients stop bleeding eventually.""

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Joke ID: 01KKTNAMA12MRA1BVCBT1QQYGC