A man is in a car wreck and is rushed to the ER. When he wakes up he tells the doctor: ""I can't feel my legs!!!"" The doctor replies: ""I know, I cut your arms off.""

Oldie but goodie. My buddy and I were out hunting one afternoon. He decided he had to take a dump, so he dripped his pants and squatted down. while he was taking care of business a rattlesnake slithered up behind him and bit him on the head of his tally wacker. He jumbed up with both hands wrapped around it and yelled I've been bit call the doctor. I called the dr and explained about the bite and that we were at least 45 mins from our truck and another hour from the hospital. He got quiet and sa…

These are actual notes from Doctors patient charts... 1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely. 3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993. 5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. 6. Discharge status: Alive but…

Goku gets into a car accident and has to be rushed to the E.R. He has a piece of shrapnel stuck in his arm and is in extreme pain. He gets to the front desk and yells at the nurse ""Help! I'm in extreme pain! I have shrapnel in my arm!"