Your mother and I are getting a divorce after 45 years of marriage. An elderly man in Oklahoma calls his son in New York and says, ""I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of marriage... and that much misery is enough!"" ""Dad, what are you talking about?"" the son yells. ""We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,"" the old dad explained. ""We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your …

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An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, ""I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing, forty-five years of misery is enough."" ""Pop, what are you talking about?"" the son screams. ""We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,"" the old man says. ""We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her,"" and he hangs up. Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on …

Just before Thanksgiving, the holding pen was abuzz as Mother Turkey scolded her younger birds. ""You turkeys are always into mischief,"" she gobbled. ""If your grandfather could see the things you do, he'd turn over in his gravy.""