Mrs.Potato seemed genuinely upset that her husband was missing, but the smell of French fries in her kitchen made the detectives suspicious.

Mannequin challenge but me just standing in the kitchen, in the dark, holding the ice cream container as my wife walks by unaware.

I need to get my shit together. It's in little piles in my kitchen & then there's some more in my wife's closet.

If you don't want to be there today, just say "I'm just here for the food and hopefully some good commercials. Also congrats on the wedding"