Mannequin challenge but me just standing in the kitchen, in the dark, holding the ice cream container as my wife walks by unaware.

I need to get my shit together. It's in little piles in my kitchen & then there's some more in my wife's closet.

If you don't want to be there today, just say "I'm just here for the food and hopefully some good commercials. Also congrats on the wedding"

After I clear my browser history I do a quick google search for things like "feeding the hungry" and "How to thank a loving wife"