*Maybe try dressing up as SpongeBob this Halloween, since you're so self absorbed.* -Me as a therapist

For Halloween my husband asked me to dress up as a nurse, cause that's one of his fantasies: That we have health care.

My Doctor says I need to start exercising religiously. So now I hit the gym on Christmas and Easter.

Doctor Doctor I'm so ugly what can I do about it? Hire yourself out for Halloween parties!