*takes off pants* *crawls into bed* Security Guard- Lady, this is Macy's *crawls out of bed* *puts on pants* SG- Those aren't your pants

I wouldn't mind being catcalled if it were useful: "Hey baby, boot sale at Macy's!" or, "Line's shorter at Starbucks on 5th, sweet cheeks!"

Log Entry 21: it's been 3 weeks & we're still lost in this Macy's. We were forced to eat Amy. Polo ties are now 40% off.

Sometimes I like to stop and fart at the jewelry counter in Macy's to remind them that there's common folk like us that shop there too.