Father O'Brien was driving home after lunch when a policeman pulled him over ... Father O'Brien was driving home after lunch when a policeman pulled him over. ""What have you been drinking?"" asked the cop. ""Only water,"" replied the priest. ""Then what's that next to you?"" said the policeman, pointing to the half-empty bottle of pinot noir in the passenger seat. ""Good Lord!"" said Father O'Brien. ""He's done it again!"" ^[[source]](http://www.nypost.com/p/news/opinion/opedcolumnists/cheers_e…

bowling balls A truck driver was hauling bowling balls through Alabama one day when he approached 2 little black boys that were walking along side of the road with their bike which had a broken chain. The truck driver pulled up to them and asked if they need a lift. They of course said yes. The truck driver said that they would have to ride in the back with the load he was hauling. So he helped the boys up and threw their bike in, and shut the door. As he was driving along a cop pulled him over.…

A White Man, A Black Man and A Jewish Man... ...were out joyriding in a car they had stolen. They ran a red light and got slammed into by a semi. All three died. They found themselves standing before Satan, scared shitless. The Devil says, ""Fellas, it's my birthday and I'm feeling generous so I'll offer you a deal. Each of you give me $100 and I'll send you back to Earth for another chance."" The white man pops awake, brushes himself off and is looking around at the resulting chaos. Ambulances …

Wife from hell. A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "" I clocked you at 80 kilometers per hour, sir. This is a 60KPH zone!"" The driver says, ""Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."" Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: ""Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."" As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, ""Can't you please keep yo…