A Polish Joke: Translated A novice pilot was flying over the Pacific when he was overcome with terror, and called the stewardess into his cabin. \- Honey, in about 5 minutes we're going to crash and nothing I'm able to do to change the situation. Try, in a gentle way, to explain to the passengers. The flight attendant took it to heart and wandered to the passenger deck. \- Can I please have your attention, could I ask everybody to show me your passports? Thank you, and now can everybody raise them high above your heads and wave them around for me... Bravo. \- Now everybody grab it with two hands and break in this way to part them in the middle. Beautiful, thank you for your cooperation. \- Now wrap these passports really tight, so very tight and ... And shove it deep in the ass to make it easy to identify you once we crash.