WIFE: why is the dog wearing a tux? ME: u said to groom him WIFE: i meant brush ME: oh...sorry buddy, wedding's off DOG: this is bullshit

More 83 YO dad funnies. Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?' 'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.' An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and w…

A Tiger Wedding A tiger was getting married and all animals attended the wedding. Every animal stood at distance and wished the tiger A cat came and climbed to the stage and danced nicely then extended his hand to wish the tiger The tiger roared in rage and said how dare you come on the stage? Even the panther is maintaining its distance and you climbed the stage. The cat replied and after listening to that the tiger fainted. What would have the cat said ??? Any guess??? The cat said ""Oh shut …

SMILE | The After-Effects of Marriage A lion was getting married and all animals attended the wedding. Every animal stood a distance and wished then lion. A mouse came and climbed to the stage and extended his hand to wish the lion. The lion roared in rage and said, ""How dare you come up the stage? Even the tiger is maintaining distance and you climbed the stage."" The mouse replied and after listening to that the lion fainted. . The mouse said, ""Oh shut up buddy, even I was lion before marria…