A man is at work when he receives a call from the hospital, where his pregnant wife is. Doctor: Is this Mr.Smith? Smith: Yes, what is the problem? Doctor: Sir, your wife is in labour, get here immediately! Smith races to the hospital, runs into the waiting room where the doctor is waiting. Smith: Where is she? How is my baby?! Doctor: She is okay sir, however your baby... Smith: What is it?! Doctor: It's miraculous! Your baby can fly! Smith: What!? What are you talking about? Doctor: Come see! T…

Marriage Jokes...more like facts Marriage Jokes We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener. There are two times a man doesn't understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage! A successful husband is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man! A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife! A woman has the last word in…

The Golden Screw (very long) So one day a man and his wife are expecting a baby. As they settle down for the night, the wife suddenly gasps and tells him ""It's time!"" so they hurry out to the car and race to the hospital. After hours that feel like days, she finally gives birth to a healthy baby boy, and as they both gaze lovingly on him they see he has all the right number of fingers and toes, shining bright eyes, and a cute little giggle. In short, a wonderful child. As time passes, they set…

Nun in a taxi... A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, ''I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you. She answers, 'My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun a long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'' ''Well, I've always had a f…